Lesson XXX- During a summer vacation, anything is confidential
by DarkestVampire
Summary: Kagura s bald, old father takes her and Shinpachi out for a summer vacation in SPACE! but Gintoki is left behind. With no jobs to do or reasons to go out, he continues barricade himself into his office before the always helpful lavender haired stalker decides to help him have some fun. The title sounds much more suggestive than it is. GinxSachan, M for possible lemon and worse
1. Being home alone during a vacation sucks

_**A/N**: Hello peoples! Since the lovely Molly Renata recently introduced me to the wonderful world of Gintama, and i`m no longer able to live without constantly ramming some into my veins, i thought i gave it a shot (terrible pun) and wrote a fanfic about it... _

_Now, many questions will pop up in your head.  
_

_A: When will that lazy bum continue Blood of the Azure  
_

_Answer: Chapter 8 is 50% complete, i`ll try to get it done this weekend or early next week. Don´t worry, i`m not gonna abandon my most popular story.  
_

_B: Why the hell do you like Sachan more than Tsukky you bastard  
_

_Answer: Tsukky can be awesome sometimes, but she has some flaws that i just can´t ignore. For instance she claims to be in love with Gin but never has the balls to show it, instead she just keeps hurting him physically. And don`t get me started on that "Scars make me less of a woman" stuff. I might write a fanfic about her and Gin at a later date, but currently i´m sick of fanfics that make her a helpless confused girl with conflicting emotions when she`s actually the leader of a badass ninja tribe who doesn`t need Gin`s help.  
_

_C: How long is this gonna take  
_

_Answer: As long as my ideas last and as long as i can drag this out. Its gonna take some time for Gin to warm up to Sarutobi, i`m afraid...  
_

_Anyway, without further babble, enjoy the first chapter of this fanfic with an extremely underrated pairing.  
_

* * *

Sigh.

It was bad enough that both Shinpachi as well as Kagura were off on a vacation in space... and they decided to leave him behind to take care of the office.

But with no clients, this was a test of a patience more than anything else.

Slacking off was fun, but when that was your entire day, and those brats still had two weeks worth of vacation time... then it was slowly turning into torture.

As such, Gin decided to sleep through most of the day, or attempt to.

Sure, he noticed the breathing above him, but he didn`t care. It was actually kind of comforting that he wasn`t the last person left on earth, even if it was the female pig that was his last resort.

A grunt came from him as he felt something drip on his cheek.

"Get down from there, damnit." He growled at the cieling, and the shadows swifted once.

Then, elegantly and silently, a young woman with lavender hair followed the path of the dribble, landing next to Gin`s spread out body.

"My, your senses have increased, Gin-san. Being able to sense a ninja is no small feat." Sachan complimented with a cheeky grin, but he just snorted.

"Sensing my ass. You drooled on me." He whiped his cheek off, sitting up. "And what the hell do you want? I`m not gonna be doing anything today. That includes not throwing you out, though... too much hassle, and you come back anyway." Gin instantly realized that would mean she´d squeal in excitement, but instead, she sighed.

"Gin-san, whats wrong with you?" Sachan said, seemingly worried about him. "I`ve been spying on you for three days and you barely even leave the bedroom." She wagged a finger at him. "Ketsuno Ana is calling for you, you know."

"Ever since she married that fool, her weather report isn´t the same anymore." Gin complained, slowly getting up to full height. "Its like if Otsu would decide to rap out of nowhere."

That was a scary thought. With that many fans, betraying them would cause a civil war to break loose.

"But Gin-san, she`s older and from a completely different social class. It would´ve never worked anyhow." Somehow, this was supposed to make him feel better, but it only made him feel worse.

"Thanks, i hadn´t noticed!" Grumpy, he plopped down on the couch, turning on the TV. "Samurais have it tough these days."

Sachan sighed again, then decided to do something else. Disappearing from sight and reappearing in the kitchen, she would try to win his heart through the old fashioned way...

Meanwhile, the news weren´t anything special. The shogun was promoting new reforms, especially an end for the swords ban and equal rights for humans and amanto, the Shinsengumi were doing their finest job of destroying edo, as ususal and completely forgot to capture Katsura. Which was funny, because lately it seemed they pretty much gave up on that.

Gin was getting close to his breaking point. Maybe he should ask Tama to entertain him... wasn´t it her greatest pleasure to be useful to humans? Maybe he could teach her how to act as a yoshiwarian courtesan... then again, he`d just have to call Tsukuyo for that.

...and that would cost him money. And blood. No thanks.

"Damn kids and their space adventures." He grumbled, kicking the kontetsu in front of him once. Come to think of it, where had that woman gone off to?

"Gin-san~" Sachan came back just as he started thinking about her. "I made you some breakfast~"

Breakfast was right. Fresh orange juice, toast in four or five variations, ceral... anything but natto. A pleasing sight for the samurai who already feared the worst.

"Oh, thanks.. to be honest i was getting kinda hungr-Guhhhh?!"

Seeing the food, he didn´t notice her at all at first... she wore an apron, fine enough, but... she didn´t wear anything else. That was less than what he would´ve wanted. "God damnit woman!"

"What? You`re a healthy young man, Gin-san, you need to feed both your body and your soul~ I`ve decided to feed your soul with some thoughts of desire~" She purred, only to be knocked over by the TV remote that was flung into her face.

"Shut up and put some clothes on!" He snapped back at her, but then huffed. "And then sit down. I can`t eat all of this on my own."

Sachan, whimpering after being defeated yet again (Though she didn`t mind the violence, just the rejection) started to grin in a stupid manner as soon as he mentioned the food. "Just a minute, Gin-san!"

With this, she scurried back into the kitchen. Gin wanted to eat breakfast with her...! With her! Together! Her heart fluttered, and her clothes nearly teleported onto her body before she really did port back into the livingroom. "Here i am, Gin-san! Ready to devour anything you throw at me!"

Looking up at her, Gin would`ve dropped a comment like "Then eat shit!" or something among the lines... but he didn`t even want to find out if she would be turned on by that as well. Seemed like anything he did to her just added to her insanely huge libido.

"Just sit down, stupid. I can see you`re here." He huffed, stuffing toast into his mouth. If no one else was here to keep him company, the stalker would have to do. After living together with the kids for years, he couldn`t go back to living alone without his body screaming at him that something was wrong.

"Gin... san?" Sachan started, having emptied a glass of juice. "Can i.. ask something?" She seemed awfully hesitant for her persona. Alarm bells went off in Gin`s head, he eyed her carefully. "Sure. So long as it doesn´t involve my bedtime habits."

" I hope not." She gulped. "I`ve... noticed you went out with Tsukuyo a couple of times... are you... dating her?"

Gin chocked on his toast and neary spat it out again.

"Hchhh...! Gah... shit... God, no! She`s a nice girl and all, but she`s the total opposite of you...!" Gin coughed a couple of times more, then breathed deeply. "When you want me to beat you up, she`s ususally the one letting my blood escape my body, you know? And i´m no masochist!"

Sachan looked at him with her head cocked to the side. "Then why do you stay with her all the time?" "She´s had a troubled life, thats all. Tsukuyo isn`t used to any normal way of living, so i`m trying to show her some of mine... or something like that. But the way you put it, she`d be my girlfriend, and jokes aside, that`d be really scary!"

He shuddered at the number of kunais he had recieved in the past. Gin stopped counting as he reached a hundred... and he stopped a long time ago, so they probably racked up to a thousand by now.

"Oh... so you`re not interested in her? At all?" Sachan munched another toast, her face brightening up with every word.

"Don´t talk with your mouth full. And no, she`s beautiful, even more so than the rest of yoshiwara... -probably because she isn`t a tired, alcoholic, drug addicted whore- but she`s really fucking scary."

"Oh... okay." Sachan couldn`t help but laugh manically... inside, of course. So Tsukuyo wasn`t more than a bump in the road... a double D sized bump, but still. "So what are we going to do today, ?"

"We? We´re not gonna do anything." He grumbled, staring daggers into her eyes. "I´m going to sleep and slack off and you can do whatever the hell you want."

"But you can`t just sleep for two weeks!" Sachan protested, balling her fists. "Do you want your friends to come home, finding a completely barren wasteland instead of a well kept household?"

Gin stared at her with a twitching eye. "My household is never well kept, even... or especially, with them around. What the heck do you want me to do?!"

A smirk crossed her face. "How about we go o-wwww!"

Getting smacked across the face before she could even propose a date with him, she landed near the window. "Sorry. Then we should clean up the house."

"Ah, hell." He grunted. "Fine, going out it is."


	2. Dates are harbringers of the apocalypse

_**A/N:**Woohoo, chapter 2 already! Means i haven´t written anything more for Blood of the Azure. *gets thrown off the stage*_

_Anyway, thanks for all those who reviewed, this is for you! Three reviews in one night IS a lot by standards.. so i sat down and finished the second chapter right away.  
_

_I tried to capture Sachan`s perverse nature a bit better in this one, especially near the end, but keep in mind, its the first time i`ve written her. I`ve played Gintoki in an RPG before, but never tried Sachan. Also, i think from this point in its going to get a lot more perverted in general, so shield your eyes in the next chapter.  
_

_Without further ado, enjoy!  
_

* * *

Going out, she said... it felt more like the worst date he´s ever been to.

And they didn´t even do anything yet.

Sachan was clinging to his arm, naturally, so he couldn´t go anywhere without dragging her along... prying her off would require power tools only found in the arsenal of a fire department, so that was no use either.

And this whole time, she was.. smileing. That was fricking annoying.

Why was she so happy, god damnit?!

* * *

_Some time passed, and eventually, Gin found himself in his favorite bar, at the counter, drinking endless amounts of sake._

"...so, how`d you end up here, Gin?" A rough voice asked him, between blowing out puffs of smoke.

"I was dating some girl, or something like that." Gin took a deep sip of sake, then slammed the empty glass onto the counter. "Except it went a bit overboard."

"How the hell does a date bring you into a bar, alone?" Hijikata groaned, his eye twitching as he looked over to the perm haired samurai. "Explain that to me, you bastard."

"Well, first we we`re gonna see a move." Gin started as the next glass was being poured for him. "Nothing wrong with that. 'Amanto vs the world' or something the movie was called...some proagandistic approach on the war." He stared ahead, deadpan and with blank eyes as ususal. "It was crap, but thats beside the point. All of the sudden, this Joui terrorist jumps up and throws a bomb at the screen as the Amanto were winning in the movie.. Five minutes later the chaos was perfect and you guys showed up to make it even worse. By that time we`ve already been on the run, but Sachan refused to let go of the popcorn we bought."

"Sachan? ...that annoying ninja thats running after you, huh?" The shinsengumi officer chuckled. "Finally gave into her?"

"Something of an understanding between us. Long story." Clearing his throat, he started to go on. "Well, after that the magic was gone, if there really was any, so we were just gonna hang out at the beach. Fine enough, might`ve been able to watch some girls and ignore her for the rest of the day."

"You prick. You bring her to a date and you`re gonna watch other girls? Seppuku yourself."

Gin rolled his eyes at him, downing the next glass in one shot. "It wasn`t my idea to go out with her in the first place! Anyway, naturally we`d run into Tsukuyo at the beach, playing with her adopted brother."

"That other ninja chick you were into?" Hijikata was now getting more interested. Seemed that things finally started to happen.

"I`m not into her, asshole! I`m saving myself for Ketsuno Ana!"

"She´s married."

"I know! Thats not the point!" Gin huffed, starting anew."So anyways, Tsukuyo was there, and since i told Sachan earlier i wasn`t into her, she went over and rubbed it in her face. To call it a catfight would be a huge understatement- they were both hospitalized, though through that damn Amanto technology they´re already healed again... only minor surface wounds, you know."

"So she´s at your place now?" The shinsengumi looked at him, curious if there was more to this.

"...yeah. Allowed her to stay there and rest. She wouldn`t leave anyways, even if i scare her away, she`d be right there the next day." Gin`s voice lowered and he further drowned in alcohol.

"Sounds like you do have some feelings for her, more or less. You damn fool." Hijikata blew out smoke, then drank a glass directly afterward to make his throat hurt even more. "At least your woman is alive and she´ll be for the n-ex- Oh god, my thr—oat!"

He engaged in a fit of coughs, slowly slipping off the bar seat as Gin held him back from hitting the ground.

"You stupid idiot! Why the hell did you do that?!"

"I... don`t... know!"

On the way home, Gintoki thought over the day so far... people died, people were hospitalized, damage to property was done, damage to his dignity was done... but for once, he came out unscaved, no scars and no wounds to speak of were on his body... a pleasent change in the way things were.

Then there was, of course, the problem that he wasn`t alone at home anymore.

Which would make "working out" over Ketsuno Ana figurines significantly more difficult... Sachan wouldn`t mind, in fact, she would love it, but he wasn`t that kind of guy.

And as he opened the door to his apartment, he found out the hard way just what kind of woman Sachan was.

"Ohhh, Gin-san! Finally you`re here!"

The first thing that happened was that she glomped him, nearly dragging him down to the ground and rubbed her head against his chest like a horny kitten. While he was trying to shake her off, under the use of various curses, he noticed... a change in the room. It smelled of citrus flavor, and the air was nice and fresh, unlike the moldy, dense air they ususally had in the entire apartment.

"Oh, Gin-san~ I missed you so much, i couldn`t help myself, i just had to distract myself- So i cleaned up the house!"

So he noticed. He didn´t know the floor was real wood. The walls seemed like she did a whole new paintjob on them, and everything was tucked away and hidden in all its shelves and... it was surreal. When was the last time he`d seen the house like this?

"Uh... thanks... i guess. Now get off me, damnit!" Gin said, scrambling out underneath her and finally getting back up.

"Giin-saaaan, i have a suprise for you~" Sachan chirped, then she grabbed his hand and pulled him over to his bedroom... as he realized this, he clawed at the next best wall in the vain hope he would be able to escape this.

"I`m not gonna have sex with you, you crazy psychopath!" His fingers slipped. The wall under his fingers was gone. Sachan pulled him into the bedroom.

... and there, his jaw dropped.

"MY JUMPS!"

Sachan giggled. "I found that in the garbage, so i cleaned it out and put your jump magazines in there~ They were the biggest part of the stuff lying around, anyway."

He couldn´t believe his eyes. His Jumps, (even the ones he thought he threw away) were organized and sorted by dates in five shelves on an old cupboard, with each shelf holding about fourty magazines... it was like a small archive, dedicated to the financial situation of the bakufu.

"Wow... i mean.. i... wow, thats..." Gintoki found himself not able to form words, his mind was blown away... but soon, it would explode in midair, as she giggled once more.

"I made dinner, Gintoki-san~ So how about we go and eat it?"

She didn`t smell of natto, and neither did the house. This was good. This meant one could actually eat whatever she fabricated. Slowly, he nodded, and he was guided back into the livingroom.

...He could get used to this, he thought...

"So, how would you like it~ Would you like to eat your dinner directly from my naked body, or should i go on all fours and balance your dishes on my back to be your own, personal table~" Sachan purred, grinding against his side.

A fuse blew in Gin´s head, and his hand smacked her face so hard she landed near the (now empty and nicely scented) garbage can.

"I`ll get the food, you sit down and be -normal- like you were this morning." He muttered, loud enough for her to hear. Damn this woman. Damn her temptation. The visuals were flowing around in his head now... was she going to wear clothes for the second option too? What if she was going to be the desert for the first one? It seemed like she took a shower earlier, she didn´t smell of natto at all, maybe...

No. No, he was not going to give into the temptation of this girl.

Samurai were only married to their swords, and they only loved their shogun.

...actually, forget about that last part. Shigeshige could go to tighty white hell.


	3. A filler chapter? What is this, Bleach?

**_A/N:_**_Guuuuuuuuuuuuh._

_I`m sorry everyone. I`m really having trouble getting myself to write Blood of the Azure these days.  
_

_The ideas are all there, but the motivation... this fanfic is just too easy to write and its too funny to come up with stuff to happen here...  
_

_Alright, enough whineing. This is basically a filler chapter, while the next chapter will be told from two different standpoints- from Sachans and from Gins, respectively.  
_

_I might even split it into two seperate chapters if i get past the 1000 words benchmark i´ve set myself for this story.  
_

_Anyways, without further babble, lets get on with the madness. I`ve written this within less than half an hour, so if you see a spelling error, please adopt him.  
_

* * *

As Gintoki woke up the next day, he felt... oddly warm. In fact, he noticed something quite heavy resting on him as well.

Opening his eyes, he stared right into a delicious looking clevage, which made him blush, but he didn`t react one bit.

A strand of lavender colored hair gave him a clue who that was... he grunted in annoyance, but couldn´t bring himself to look away.

Why did he never notice those beautiful, if not massive, bouncies before? He mentally slapped himself for that, then literally was about to slap Sachan before she eventually woke up on her own.

"Morning Gin-san~" She yawned, rolling over to give him -some- personal space. "Have you slept well?"

"Guess so." He answered, glaring into her eyes. "What the hell were you doing on top of me?"

"I must´ve passed out~" She lied, stretching like a kitten. "But don`t worry, Gin-san! I`ll go right ahead and make you some delicious breakfa- Huh?"

A cellphone rang, and Sachan instantly knew it was hers- Gintoki didn`t have one afterall.

Picking it up and answering the call, she chirped: "You´ve reached the voice mail of Sa-chan, the vengeful assassin! I`m sorry, but i cannot ans- what? Huh?! O..okay... sure. See you then, i`ll be right over!" The kunoichi seemed nervous, putting the cellphone into her back pocket and getting on her feet as soon as possible.

"Did the president of the planet maso call and demand his ambassador to return?" Gin sneered, sitting up for himself.

"Silly Gin-san, i´m no Amanto! Hattori has an important job for me to do, and its urgent... i´ll be back as soon as i can, Gin-san! Wouldn´t want to miss out spending the evening with you~"

After blowing a kiss into his direction, she dashed through the door before he could get up and hit her.

Well, Sachan was gone. That was a pleasent turn of events... right?

With her gone, he had to make breakfast himself. And if she didn´t return anytime soon, he would have to clean up himself as well... the general prospect wasn´t nice anyhow, the financial situation of the Yorozuya was catastrophic as ususal and it wouldnt be long before they would live off of dog food again.

But as his life philosophy dictated him, money came by in just the right moment... in this case, a gentle knock on the door.

"Hmmm? Its open." Gintoki looked over to the door, only to freeze in his spot as Hijikata entered in full uniform, aided by Yamazaki and another, unknown member of the Shinsengumi.

"I heard you`re flat broke again, Gintoki." The vice commander said, inhaling fumes from his cancer stick. "I would have a job for you... and its well paid."

Well paid? Good payment usually meant trouble, and all those times he did something for the Shinsengumi, they somehow tricked him out of getting a reward for his work... This was fishy, alright.

"So what if i am, jerk face? I might be broke, but i´m not stupid. If you guys pay me a lot of money, its ususally on the terms of risking my life." Gin crossed his arms, staring at him... money got him interested, but he kept telling himself it wasn´t worth it.

"You´re overdoing it, Gintoki. Its high payment comes from the Bakufu itself, thats why i think you´ll have to eat those words later." Hijikata exhaled a puff of smoke. "Its a simple job, really. You don´t need to kill anyone and you`ll likely have to protect no one."

"Well, i guess there´s no harm in hearing you out. What do you want me to do?"

Hijikata´s glance darkened.

"In his ongoing campaign to find out more about his people and their habits, the Shogun-"

"NO. NO! NO NO NO NO NO! God damnit, how many times does a desaster have to happen before you stop letting this guy out into the public?!" Seriously, they were just asking for trouble now.

"Let me finish, soon-to-be-dead-man. The Shogun has heard about the people of his city often going into the nearby independant city of Yoshiwara for nightly ...adventures, and he would like to participate in this himself for once to understand it and..."

From that point on, Gintoki didn`t listen anymore. They wanted him to escort the Shogun, Lord Shigeshige himself, into Yoshiwara so he could get laid. And they paid him money for that?

Even for Gintama, this was out of control stupidity!

"Hold on. Yoshiwara is independant. Bringing the Shogun there will cause some diplomatic deaster. You know this, right?!"

Hijikata sighed deeply and stared into his eyes.

"Of course we know this, idiot. But do you have the balls to stand in front of the most important human politican on earth and say, no, i´m not gonna follow your orders? Seppuku isn´t enough to compensate for that, first you have to cut off your dick, roast it over a fire, eat it, and then you commit seppuku."

"What is it with you and your desire to let everyone commit seppuku you maniac?! And why do you want me, ME of all people to escort the Shogun? I`m a former member of the Joui, you moron!"

"You`re saying this to a police officer."

"I know! Put me in jail, at least then i don´t have to escort the motherfucking Shogun to a motherfucking whorehouse!"

Behind Hijikata, the man in question appeared, with a deadpan facial expression and completely calm voice as ususal.

"In the Shogunate family, mother fucking has been a tradition for centuries."

"Thats... very nice to know."

"Look." Hijikata pulled him over. "You just bring him there and make sure he gets the full programm. We Shinsengumi will lock down all exits in and out of Yoshiwara and make perfectly sure not a dust particle gets to him. Just drop him off somewhere and enjoy yourself while he`s getting... served or something. It`ll be over before you know it, and we can all continue living."

Gintoki exhaled the longest, lowest, most agonizing groan he ever uttered. Alright, fine.

He´d escort the Shogun to find an escort to escort the Shogun to a whorehouse, while he would get drunk somewhere else so he would hopefully forget about all this.

Who´s idea was it to take up every job he`s being tasked with, again?

"Fine. If you stop asking, i`ll do it. Just out of curiosity, how much money are we talking about?"

Hijikata shrugged. "How much do you need?"

Gintoki blinked, then shrugged as well. "A million yen?"

"A million it is."

Before his mind realized it, he had already guided the Shogun out and was heading to Tsukuyo`s hometown.

It´ll be over before he`d know it.


	4. If you want whores, ask them yourself

_**A/N:**Oh hai. Its me again. This chapter is still significantly funny, but the next one might not be. Just warning you._

_Also, i just didn´t know how the hell the Shogun was gonna end up in his undies in advance, maybe in chapter 6, as chapter 5 will be from Sachan´s POV for once.  
_

_Without further babble, go read this shit, kids. Its good.  
_

* * *

Awkward. Very, very awkward…. That was a perfect description of Gin´s situation just now.

He was escorting the Shogun, disguised as a ronin, into Yoshiwara… the "literal heaven on earth", as some people called it… to get him laid with some cheap courtesan whore.

Of course, with him being the shogun and all, he`d have to ask for the very best one they had… and since everyone knew him, but he didn`t know anyone in Yoshiwara, he knew what his first stop would be. And he didn`t like going to her after what happened the day before.

Shou-chan was very very quiet, as he usually was, just staring ahead saying nothing as he trotted behind Gin into the underground city that used to be a hangar for spaceships during the war… even though he pried open the heavens and gave those girls the sun back, it was still quite dark here during the day and the lights were on the entire time, blinding people with inviting titles such as "The heaven on earth souvenir stand" "Heavenly snacks" "Heavenly snatches" and "Buy our fucking products, you stupid asshat", the later shop belonged to the young man named Seita.

None of those mattered right now, as the two marched through the crowded metal hall full of whorehouses, looking for one woman in particular… knowing her, she already took notice of them, but didn´t bother to check up what their deal with Yoshiwara was. Or maybe she was asleep for once… he hoped not.

Soon enough, he felt a piercing pain on his forehead, the sensation guiding his eyes through the crowd towards the woman in question- Tsukuyo, the death´s courtesan.

"The hell are you doing here, Gintoki." She muttered, drawing in cancer from her pipe. "Thought you got over your gambling habits."

"I`m here for business, Tsukuyo." He looked behind him of Shou-chan was still there, and looked into the deadpan fish-eyes of the man in question. Good.

"Business? Don´t make me laugh, you always just mooch freebies off of us." She chuckled, slowly stepping over to them. "Don´t expect one from me, your girlfriend messed up my hair yesterday."

"Okay, for one, she´s NOT my girlfriend, and for a second, it's not ME looking for a girl, its HIM."

"Him?"

"Yes, him, Shou-chan, the guy behind me!"

"You mean him?"

She pointed over to the Shogun, who was brought away by two ladies dressed in the typical, extremely attractive attire of a courtesan.

"Huh… guess that took care of itself." He scratched the back of his head, looking after him. Then, his face drew itself back to Tsukuyo, who seemed far too amused for her own good.

"So, Gin, she`s not your girlfriend, eh? She seemed pretty fixed on that. Said she lived with you, too." A grin appeared on her face, and she nudged his side. "So you finally got your virginity taken, huh?"

"Wha?! No!... I mean yes. I mean that happened years ago, before you were even born."

"I`m twenty two. You´re only a year older than I am." Tsukuyo couldn´t resist teasing him to his breaking point.

"So?! Anyway, she does NOT live together with me, she just stayed over. …But you seem pretty calm despite all that." Gintoki was surprised, positively. He would`ve imagined Tsu killing him in various ways again and again if she found out he would prefer Sachan over her.

"Yeah, truth to be told, Gintoki… i… kinda have a crush on someone.. so…"

A wide, sadistic grin appeared on his face. Now it was his turn to tease.

"Ooooooh? So the woman who gave up being a woman is becoming a woman again, for a ~special~ certain someone? Tell me, who´s the lucky one, hmm? Do I know him?"

Tsukuyo couldn´t hide her blush, so she looked away.

"…yeah, I guess you do. But don´t look at me like that, creep. Your woman is crying for you too, you know."

"She can cry until the next year for all I care. Who is he?"

Tsukuyo`s blush turned deeper as her attempt to change topics failed.

"…He´s.. one of those policemen you upper-world-people have."

"Hijikata Toshiro. Knew it."

"H..how?!"

Gintoki grinned widely. "He`s the only one that's up for grabs, everyone else has their own little crush. Plus he hasn´t gotten over it that his previous girlfriend died before he could confess to her."

"His… girlfriend died?" Tsukuyo´s blush disappeared, and she became interested.

"Yeah, kind of a tragic story. But it might be your chance, maybe he´s gonna open up for you if you console him in your special yoshiwarian ways."

"Hey! Don`t… don´t say it like that!"

Leaving the boy oblivious to his true motives, Shigeshige let the two girls lead him into the far off corner of Yoshiwara, into an unsuspecting brothel. He couldn´t possibly tell his men about this meeting, so he had to lie to all of them… despite his heart protesting against it. Arrangements with the enemy were best carried out alone.

As he sat down in a small, lone room, the girls left him, and instead joined another- Kotaru Katsura.

"…I was hoping I would never have to see you again, Katsura. But I have to insist on this meeting." He said, smoothly and calm. "Did you receive my letter?"

A nod.

"I couldn`t believe it myself when I heard about it, but it makes sense in context. The near identical faces confirm it, you are my br-"

"Please, don´t say it." Katsura spoke, closing his eyes. "It's a burden neither of us wants to carry."

"Indeed. We weren´t destined to be enemies, but only one could have the throne… the firstborn."

Katsura`s eyes opened up in slits. "Firstborn by mere minutes, as I've heard."

"Minutes can decide one´s fate in more than one way, I'm sure you`re aware of this." Shigeshige said, his eyes relentlessly resting on Katsura. "I will keep it brief and simple, as I am aware I cannot possibly hide myself for long. I do no longer wish to fight you. I had the chance to meet you as a person before, and you exceed me in experience and in wisdom- it's a waste to put such a person in prison, or into the netherworld."

"Then what are you suggesting?" Katsura asked, curious, but cautious at the same time.

"If you put down your arms against the Bakufu, you`ll be a free man."

Shigeshige said this without making a face. It wasn´t out of the usual to stay deadpan serious for him, but Katsura still expected some kind of catch.

"What about my comrades?" He insisted. Leaving without your comrades would be leaving without honor.

"Some of them are convicted murderers, others are renegades and outlaws. I cannot guarantee for all of them, but I can set some free as well. You`ll understand I will not wish for psychopaths to roam the streets. However, if you choose to disband your organization as a whole, then I suppose your comrades can go as well… a true murderer does not stop even if he´s set free, so the evil ones will surely fall into our hands again."

Katsura smirked. "You´re too optimistic for your own good."

"Maybe I am, but I've done too much falsehood already. Maybe, some of it can be undone by setting you free." Shigeshige stood up, having said what he wanted. "If you accept my offer, talk to the Shinsengumi vice commander Hijikata. He`s received special instructions from me as well."

Just this moment, it happened that the said demon vice commander appeared before Gin and Tsukuyo as well.. and his face suggested nothing good.

"Hey, Gintoki." He growled. "We`ll take it from here."

"Huh? What about my payoff?!" The Yorozuya shouted, dumbfound. "You promised me a million yen, remember? One million!"

"Fine, then you´ll get half of it. You`ve only done half the job you were asked to."

"HEY! Don´t make me kill you, bastard!" He reached for his wooden sword, a vein popping up on his forehead. "You don´t trick me again!"

"Three quarters then. Now piss off, a friend of yours is in the Tagashime Hospital… A group of Shinsengumi found her when they were investigating a murder scene. Seeing how she was nearly killed too, though, I don´t suspect she`s the criminal in question." He puffed out smoke, unaware of Tsukuyo`s looks. "Hurry and go. I´ll handle things myself."

Gritting his teeth, Gintoki nodded. 750 thousand yen wasn`t a bad paycheck either… and something in the back of his head told me he knew the person in the hospital all too well.

Sachan had been pretty nervous this morning about this job…

Patting Tsukuyo on the shoulder and telling her to "Go for it" he dashed off, without another word.

He didn`t know why, but it felt like a stab to the heart when he realized Sachan might be the one that was nearly killed in his absence.


	5. Things you lost are the most precious

**_A/N: Warning. this chapter is one of the most depressing things i`ve written in a while._**

**__**_I tried to add a little bit of comedy into the first part, but the rest is... very tear inducing. So if you don´t want that kinda stuff in a humor based fic, skip this chapter.  
_

_All that happens is that its explained how Sachan got hospitalized. Now, for those courageous readers who don`t want to skip, lets move on.  
_

* * *

Enjoying the quietness of the vast space around them, Shinpachi Shimura, Kagura and her father, Space Hunter Umibouzu sat down and spent the time it took them to travel from one solar system to another with some tall tales of his adventures.

"...and thats how i defeated the Reapers." Umibouzu finished, chuckling to himself. "Not as much of a challange as i thought in the end... but the bounty was well worth the work i´ve put into."

"Wow, you really are amazing, Mr Kagura!" Shinpachi said, estatic about the obvious lies.

"Uh, actually, my name is Umibouzu..."

"Uhaaa, that was a good snack, yes." Kagura came back from the cargo bay, holding her comically expanded belly. Shinpachi, seeing this and seeing the area she came from, paled a bit. "Uh, Kagura.. just how much did you eat?"

The young Yato cocked her head to the side, blinking. "Everything. Why do you ask?"

The Space Hunter and the young samurai both had their jaws drop.

"Right... i`ll.. uh... set down on the next planet we come across..." Umibouzu said, fractically hurrying over to the controls. "That`ll be in... three days..."

"Three days without food... I really loath you at times like this, Kagura..." Shinpachi moped, curling up into a ball of patheticness.

"I appriciate it, Four-eyes, but we`re not that close yet, yes?"

"I SAID LOATH, NOT LOVE!"

* * *

The ninja was one with the shadow, part of his surroundings, a ghost that whispers secrets about the afterlife. Sa-chan was no exception, although she could never hide her nervousness that she felt.

Her employers had been very dissatisfied with her work lately... and truth to be told, she had failed more than just a few assignments. But to give her one last chance, they tasked her with killing the most dangerous man in all of Edo- Takasugi Shinsuke.

A shiver ran down her back just thinking about him. That man could hold his own against Gintoki- a living legend – and probably best him too. She was tasked to kill him, a lone, amateur ninja.

She had to believe in herself. It was the only way.

Following him through an empty ally, she was hard pressed to find a good way to start the assassination... but as he entered a house at the end of it, probably his hideout, more options came to mind.

The walls of the house were paper thin as ususal, so she had no problems cutting through one and landing on the support beams above... from there, she dropped down silently and attempted to strike.

"I didn`t think you would have fangs, young girl. You`ve been with Shiroyasha so much, i thought he would`ve broken them off by now." The rouge samurai spun around at a lightning speed as Sachan raised her Kunai for a stab, then she stumbled back, seeing the katana in his hand... and a shearing pain rushed through her.

A thud. Something red on the floor.

It was her arm.

"You almost had me, did you? Unfortunely, i`ve seen you about three minutes ago... so i led you here to dispose of my unwanted follower."

Sachan´s vision became blurry, even though her glasses were still on... did he poison that blade?

Looking down on herself, not just the stump of her left arm bled, but half of her torso also had a shallow wound running across it. She couldn´t utter a word, the pain brought her mouth open, but no air came out.

"I`m sorry, but Edo is far from destroyed. As such, i will not end here... but i suppose, you will."

"Wrong."

A voice came from above, and in a blur, someone hung down from the support beams above them, flashed off a knife, then dropped to the floor behind Takasugi... the man in question fell facefirst to the floor, his facial expression unchanged... a glance at the back of his neck showed that the other assassin had severed the neck from behind, cutting through the spine and jugular and instantly bringing an end to his life.

Sachan stared at him, realizing who it was... Hattori Zenzo, the very one who called her to go to this mission.

"Sorry, Sarutobi. I was tasked to kill you as well, should you fail this mission... it looks like i don´t even have to anymore." His eyes, half hidden by his bangs, were cold and uncaring. "You feel too much. A ninja requires to use his feelings to be effective, but feeling for your targets makes you dangerously weak. The fallen need no remorse. The wicked need no compassion. The weak..."

A kunai landed quare in the middle of her chest, and an empty scream escaped her throat.

"...should be brought down painlessly. Rest well, Sarutobi. I will see you in the next world."

Sachan lost her balance, falling over... but she didn´t feel the impact anymore. The world was a hazy blur, and the last thought she could formulate was:

"I`m sorry, Gintoki."

Three hours later, Gintoki Sakata arrived at room 352 of the Tagashima hospital... to be stopped by the nurse in front of the room.

„Are you Mr. Sakata?" She asked, looking at him. „You must be. Miss Sarutobi has been asking for you in the short time she was awake."

Damnit. So it was her afterall. She was getting killed, he was in Yoshiwara, thinking about getting drunk off his ass and trying to forget about her.

Gintoki felt bad, really, really bad. The thoughts running through his head confirmed the old idiom: The moment you lose something is the moment you realize just how precious it is to you.

He couldn´t protect her. He didn`t want to protect her, or so he thought. But protecting precious friends, wasn`t that what he always wanted?

„How bad is it?" He asked, out of breath.

„She`s stable now, we`re gonna keep her sleeping for the next few hours. Her body has been going through a lot in the past minutes." The nurse answered, looking over a clipchart. „When she got here, a neurotoxin was flowing through her veins and threatened to destroy her nerves. Her left arm was cut off below the shoulder joint, a large flesh wound stretched from the right side of abdomen to the left shoulder and a kunai penetrated almost all the way in her left chest, piercing the lung quite deeply. Give or take five minutes more and she would`ve either suffocated on her own blood or the toxins would´ve made her heart stop." She answered bluntly, with little regards for him. „But as i said, she´s stable. We`ve used the latest of Amanto medical care for her injuries and we reattached her arm without problems. Nanomachines and specialized metabolisim gel accelerate her healing process vastly- she might have some trouble breathing for the next few hours, but give or take twenty hours and she can leave this hospital on her own two legs." The nurse smiled at him as Gintoki`s face paled to the degree of a Yato. „You can wait here, if you like, or go in... but let her rest, if you do. Its important she can regenerate."

„Right. Thanks, Nurse."

„...i have a name. Its on my nametag, see?"

„Yeah. See you, Nurse."

„Ugh."

Opening the door, Gintoki quietly moved into the room where Sachan was attached to a heartrate monitor, two blood bags, some sort of chemicals dangleing from various hoses and some sort of pressure pump that continously brought some thick blue gel into her veins, probably the healing gel the nurse was talking about.

Her hair was a mess, and the shreds of clothes next to the hospital bed were completely red... what the hell happened that she ended up in this bad shape?

Without even doing anything, Sachan opened her eyes... and despite not having her glasses on, she looked over to Gintoki and smiled.

„I`m sorry i took so long, Gin-san... can we still spend the evening together?"

It was then that Gin noticed he was shivering on his whole body, so he sat down on a chair next to the bed.

„Yeah... lets do that."

* * *

_Now then. Some actual story happened in those last two chapters, right? What a suprise. Dunno if those story bits will actually be followed up upon, i`m just doing whats epic right now._

_Also: Umibouzu obviously references to the Sci-Fi Action RPG Mass Effect, made by Bioware. Just saying for legal reasons.  
_

_So why did Hattori try to kill Sachan? Simple: He seems like a real killer, unlike Sachan. He doesn`t feel anything for her, she`s just a colleage, and he finishes his jobs- even if they include working for a ripoff cult, apperantly. So yeah, i just made him do that because i don`t like him very much.  
_

_With that said, i think this is the point where the relationship can actually start to develop. Lets find out in the next chapter.  
_


	6. Terrorists don't make good husbands

_**A/N: **Alright, after the depressing chapter, this one is funny again. I promise.  
_

_Actually i think i overdid it a bit, but i`d rather have a silly Gintama than a sad Gintama. Also, i recieved a review with a question in it:  
_

_"I enjoy reading your fic, so I hope you will keep updating so often. Good story and characterization. Shogun totally cracked me up. I wonder if you intend to develop Hijikata x Tsukuyo, because it seems like an interesting ship. And I'm curious about Sarutobi's state, both physical and emotional, after her fight."  
_

_I`ll try my best to keep updating as much as possible, though i´m also going to upload a one-shot story about Gintama soon thats... more or less related to this chapter. Shogun... i really wanted to make more funny things happen around him, but i guess there`s only so many ways you can loose your pants in. As for Hijikata and Tsukuyo, yes, that will be followed up upon, though its not the main focus of the fic so updates on their situation aren`t going to be as frequent. Maybe in the next chapter. Also in the next chapter will be a breakdown of what happened in the hospital between Gin and Sachan... stay tuned!  
_

_With that said, lets enjoy the silly antics.  
_

* * *

After spending the night in the hospital room, Gintoki didn´t know whatever he felt glad to be home or not… those hospital beds were soft, unlike his cheap futon. But if the Shinsengumi kept their word, he could soon buy a real bed.

By his side was Sachan- her wounds were healed, her spirits weakened, but not shattered… and the annoyance factor came back, growing stronger with every second she recovered.

"I´m glad all of this is over, Gin-san, but i´ll keep the memory of -our- night in my heart, forever~" She swooned, clutching to his arm and purring.

"Seriously, why would you keep remembering it? We didn`t even do anything."

Gintoki merely sighed, taking out the keys to his office.. when he noticed the door was unlocked.

"Huh? ...why`s the door open?"

Sachan looked over his shoulder and blinked.

"Why do you have a lock on a paper door, anyway?"

Gin snorted dismissively.

"We even have a doorbell for this paper door in the anime. Figure that out."

Sliding open the door, though, the samurai was about to have a fit of rage... not only did the whole office smell of... odd food, on one of the sofas was a short, raven black haired girl with an eyepatch playing on a handheld as if it was the most normal thing to do in a foreign household.

If that wasn`t enough, a giant duck-like creature in a scarlett dress was playing around with one of his many wooden swords, threatening to knock something over sooner or later with the clumsy swings.

But to top it all off, out of the kitchen came a very girly looking man, dressed in an apron, a scarf on his head to keep the hair out of the food and he was holding a knife that looked considerably more expensive than anything he owned.

"Zura! What the hell are you doing in my house?!"

"Its not Zura, its Katsura. And i`m making lunch."

"'And you, creepy eyepatch lady! Who the hell let you in?!"

"Its not Creepy eyepatch lady, its Kyubei. And the window was open."

"Damnit! And why the hell are you dressed like that, Elizabeth?!"

-ITS NOT ELIZABETH, ITS GENERAL EREN-

* * *

On board of Umibouzu´s cruiser, the first day without food began. Kagura had been sleeping all the way from yesterday evening to mid-afternoon, until Shinpachi slowly became worried.

Sure, she ate all the food they had, but thats not too different from what she ususally did. However, she didn`t seem to be a very deep sleeper... this was definitely out of the ordinary for her, and since Umibouzu still couldn`t find some of his maintnance supplies for the engines, Shin was growing more and more worried...

Eventually, he found the courage to walk into her room after knocking about ten times... he was somewhat relieved to see her still sleeping and breathing, but he didn`t know what to make of any of this.

Nudging her side, Kagura simply groaned and curled up tighter... in the half lit room, he couldn´t see much, but as he turned on the lights, he realized something.

"...WHAAAAAT?!"

"You`re too loud, Pattsuan." Kagura muttered, rolling over to face him with tiny, sleepy eyes. "What the heck is the matter? You look like you`ve seen a ghost, yes."

"K-K-ka-kagura! What... what happened to you?"

"Huh?

Sitting up, Kagura looked down on herself. Long, slender legs, firm, well trained belly, boobs... everything how it should be.

"What do you mean, huh? You`re... taller! ...And when the hell did you grow that clevage?"

"I digivolved, yes."

"THAT DOESN' T MAKE SENSE! You haven`t grown a micrometer in nine years and now suddenly you`re my height?! And you´ve grown like, ten inches in one night?!"

Kagura blinked at him, sighing. "Really, Pattsuan? You`re really doubting the logic in this, yes?"

Realizing that pretty much nothing else makes sense in this chapter, straight man Yorozuya Shinpachi sighed and shrugged it off.

* * *

Sending Sarutobi into the kitchen instead of Katsura was the best idea Gin had all day- at least he knew that she could cook, whereas Katsura seemed to live off of Soba and sometimes Curry.

"So, tell me. What the hell are you all doing here?" He finally asked, sitting down with the human members of the intruders.

"I came to tell you what may be the most important decision of my life, Gintoki." Zura started, crossing his arms dramatically. "Ever since a while ago, i´ve started to realize that the battlefield has changed from back then to the way it is now. We`re no longer fighting invaders, we`re fighting people- friends, even."

"...what did you take?"

"Pardon me?" Katsura looked at his old friend in confusion.

"You´re not acting like the Zura I know. What did you take to act this way?" Gintoki asked, completely serious.

"I did no such thing, Gintoki. On the contrary. i`ve been living without Soba for three days now. Back to the point- i`ve been living with an Amanto for years now. I`ve discovered the daily life problems of Shinsengumi chief Matsudaira... and i`ve been working together with the commander and vice commander of the Shinsengumi for more than a few times. I´ve been looking for a way to get out without having to kill any of them.."

"...does your story have a point, Zura?"

"Who is this Zura you speak of? My name is Katsura."

"Okay, somethings definitely wrong with you. You´re supposed to say 'Its not Zura, its Katsura!'"

Katsura shrugged. "I`ve grown tired of that catchphrase. And yes, I was just getting to the point while you-" he picked up a paper fan and smacked him with it- "keep interrupting me! I`ve had a secret meeting with the Shogun yesterday... he offered me immunity from my crimes, if I put down my sword and cease my activities." He narrowed his eyes. "He offered the same for the rest of my group, however as I brought it to speech..."

"They want your head for even bringing that up." Gintoki finalized, grumbling from getting hit with the fan. "And why is she here?" He pointed over to Kyubei, who was still playing on her handheld, paying no mind to the fellow samurai.

Katsura swallowed hard, then breathed a deep breath. "As i´ve come to an end of my rebellion, I decided to settle down somewhere and marry the woman I lov-"

"WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Gintoki suddenly jumped up, staring wide eyed at his former comrade. "When the hell did you two hook up? Neither of you ever mentioned this!"

Katsura shrugged, Kyubei continued to ignore him... the former Joui was the first to speak again.

"You never asked. Besides, I don´t question what Sarutobi is doing in your house, either."

"Hold on, she`s not my-"

With this said, Sachan came from the kitchen, smiling brightly and carrying a bowl containing a far too familiar dish for Gintoki`s liking.

"...Sachan, why the hell did you make Natto?"

She smiled in return.

"I didn`t."

"Then what the hell am I looking at?"

"It would appear to be Natto." Katsura said, crossing his arms dramatically.

"I see that. Then if Sachan didn`t make... wait, YOU made Natto, Zura?! I thought you favored Soba!"

He nodded. "Yes, I do. However, as i`m now among the common folk, I thought I could resort to a common people`s meal as well... Natto seemed like the most obvious case in point."

"Most obvious my ass! What about fried rice or anything simple like that!? Ugh, nevermind, now its done already. Suppose we might as well eat it." Finally, after this long list of complaints, Gin looked over into yet another familiar face, sitting in the corner and watching TV. "And why are you here, Gedomaru?"

The Shikigami killer turned her head to him and shrugged. "I`m just a leftover from the Shinpachi lovestory the Author hasn`t posted yet. By all means, ignore me."

The samurai nodded. He could live with that.

Finally, after eating and getting rid of all the idiots in his house (while telling Zura they WOULD have a talk later, and it was going to be a long one!) Gin sighed and decided he would lie the hell down for now, getting some rest from this stressful encounter.

As soon as he slipped under the blanket of his futon, however, he groaned and noticed the buldge of another person next to him.

"Sachan, I have another futon in the house, you know. You don`t have to sleep in mine." He growled, lifting the blanket to look under it... and he looked into eyes that were like an empty, bottomless void, much like the girl they belonged to.

"I`m not Sachan, Shogun." She answered in a dark voice much like the Shogun.

"Nobume?! What the fuck?! How... what... why... Why are you in my bed?!"  
"You ask too many questions, Shogun."

"What the fuck ever. Try not to drool on me."

"No promises, Shogun."


	7. Sequels ruin good movies, all the time

**_A/N: _**_Okay, boys and girls, this chapter is a bit short, but i`ve been planning a lot for the next one, so that will probably be longer. _

_Also, it will contain mature content, which is what this fanfic has been rated M for. _

_Also it will contain the gorilla._

_And Kamui._

_And i`m talking too much, lets go!_

* * *

Finally something resembling an uneventful morning... after kicking Nobume out, Gintoki found himself resting for a good half hour before his bladder decided it was time to get up.

To his suprise, Sachan had been sleeping on the sofa and was now preparing breakfast for him... again. Judging by the smell, it was not Natto.

"Oh, hey." He simply said, giving her a lazy wave before walking to the bathroom. What was up with her? Her giggling and "Gin-san" rants aside, she was... rather helpful actually. For the last three days, his office looked neat and clean... and aside from the Zura accident the day before, food had been nice as well.

For a moment, his mind went back to the evening he spent at her bedside, holding her hand... he remembered that he couldn´t feel her pulse anymore that night, that he constantly worried she wouldn´t make it through afterall. Her deathly pale face, blank eyes and weak, hoarse voice was something that was burned into his retina- never before had he seen one of his "newer" friends so close on the verge to death.

And, there was the things they talked about... naturally, they talked about what happened, but then they went into the topic of Takasugi and where Gin got to know him from.

He told her a lot, a lot about his life as Shouyou-sama´s student, as a Joui patriot and finally, as an unemployed samurai living in the ditches of society until Otose finally took him in.

It had been refreshing, although it stinged his heart more than it had to when he got into the details he never had anyone to talk about this stuff. Zura already knew all of this and the kids... he didn`t want to tell them, yet. Maybe when they were older.

"Gin-san, you remember what we talked about in the hospital, right?" Sachan smiled brightly, serving the freshly made food on the kontatsu. "I`m afraid if word of it gets around that i`m still alive, both the Kiheitai as well as Hattori-san will attempt to kill me again."

What they talked about? Hell yes he remembered... oh, right.

Gin groaned lightly as he sat down.

Right, she wanted to stay over for a couple of days till she found a new place to hide.

Bothersome. Understandable though, and she did him a huge favor by setting Takasugi up for the kill.

"Yeah i remember." He simply said, gulping down some strawberry milk with a deadpan expression. "You want to move in, right? Well, like i said yesterday there´s a second futon in the closet somewhere.. you don´t have to sleep on the couch. Thats reserved for Pattsuan."

Sachan blinked, not just because of the way Gintoki treats his friend but by the way he just invited her to sleep in his bedroom. He DID say that, right? She was sure there wasn`t any other room where she could just roll out a futon like that..

"Of course, you could sleep in Kagura`s closet while she`s-"

"No, no, no no, i`m fine Gin-san! I`ll happily sleep next to you!" Sachan beamed, holding his hand extaticly. "I`ll promise not to snore or steal your blanket or anything! And i`ll only get up once every night! And i-"

"SHUT UUUUP ALREADY! I GET IT!" Gin groaned, throwing the pillow that was lying on the sofa at her. "Just get your stuff and get it over with. The sooner you get a new place the sooner you get the hell out of my face. Then maybe i can finally relax again in this damn household."

He stood up, taking Sachan by the shoulders, who was still dumbstruck by this cold reply, before guiding her steps towards the door and pushing her out.

"Get it done already, woman."

That was a bit too much for Sachan`s resident M side. Something dark boiled up inside her, but instead of stabbing him, her hand reached out and slapped him across the face.

Without another word, she turned around and dashed down the stairs, never making eye contact with him again.

Rubbing his cheek, Gin stood in the doorway and wondered what the hell that was about.

"Huh? I thought she got off when i did that. Tsk. I can´t figure her out."

Uncaring, he turned around and closed the door, walking over to the kitchen to wash up... a lingering feeling of guilt bubbled up inside him, but he chose to ignore it...

As he came across the fridge, he saw a sticky note plastered onto the door.

"Your desert, Gin-sama 3" It said on it... Desert. Sweets. His attention was raised.

"Huh?" As soon as he saw it, he swung the door open, staring at the two-stage vanilla choco pudding, ornamented with chocolate chips... and a single natto bean on top like it was meant to be a wedding cake.

His mouth watered just looking at it, it was sure to be equal to his monthly doseage of sugar in concentrated form. He sure didn´t remember putting this here. So where`s the desert the monkey made- oh wait.

Natto bean.

She made that magnificent thing.

And he... threw her out.

He made her run away.

He probably made her cry, too.

A shot rang out, and Gintoki felt a stinging feeling in his chest... clutching his bloody ribs, he turned around to see the gunman still wielding the smoking revolver.

"Oh no... John Wayne-san! Why!? Why must you do this to me?!"

John Wayne exhaled a puff of smoke, then spit out onto the floor. "She made you sugar, but you didn´t acknowledge it. Making a woman cry... Death is too good for you, but i`m in a hurry."

"No! Nooo! Wait, i can make it up for her! I can... i can...! I`ll have sex with her, i promise!"

The chirping noise of a silencer rang out, and from the side, Pierce Brosman held his smoking Walther pistol while smirking a cocky smile. "Thats the spirit, Gintoki. There´s still time. Capture her while she skyfalls, and maybe you won`t need a quantum solace."

"James Bond-sama! Oh thank godness!" While John Wayne fell to the ground with cold, empty eyes, Gintoki felt his chest lightening. "I swear i´ll make it up for her the best i can! But... i... i need help for that, i mean... i´ve never done it, and... she`s so demanding.."

Bond still smirked, somehow it seemed like he couldn´t do anything else.

"If you`re in need of help, stick to those who know your number. Those you can trust. You don´t need to nightfire your golden gun to space to find Kagura and Shinpachi, those here on earth still watching you with a goldeneye can help you just as much."

"You`re right... you`re absolutly right! Thank you so much...!" Gintoki turned around and ran, through the door, leaving his imagineations behind.

"TAMAAAAA! YOU GOTTA HELP ME!"


End file.
